Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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