do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
