I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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