I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
