Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
