So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
