Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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