We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
