Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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