Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
