You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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