I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I've blown a few things in my day
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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