Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
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I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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