yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
