Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
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I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
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I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.