i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
