I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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