I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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