barbara walters just said penis...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
