my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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