She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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