so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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