ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
