Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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