We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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