I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize