Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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