Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap