I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
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Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
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You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first