i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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