i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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