if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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