I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just want to make out with him forever
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
