i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
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I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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