its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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