Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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