I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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