Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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