end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
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We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
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I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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