I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize