cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.