You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.