On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for