Just fell off a train. Bad.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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