Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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