oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
There's even glitter on my cock...
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