I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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