How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
