i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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