i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize