Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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