he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
